November 30, 2018 – These Conversations Kill

Barrel deep into the night
‘Til you leave the center of the show behind
And the great white peaks of new islands rise
You’ll see it all, you’ll see it all

Barns Courtney, ♫Goodbye John Smith♫

This blog was something I knew I wanted to write but I wasn’t sure how at first. It’s a dedication in two parts: one to someone I did not really know but felt like I did and one that I knew very well. Memorials are always tough because you’re drawing from emotions that come from deep within you but once words are on paper or typed through a keyboard it tends to be a freeing feeling.

Five years ago today, actor and humanitarian Paul Walker tragically died in a car crash. Celebrities are always put on a pedestal by their fans even if they are not the best people but I feel with Paul that was justified because what you saw is what you got with him and he had a good heart regardless of the talent he possessed. Even though I did not know him nor did I ever meet him his death was truly hard for me because of the joy he brought to my life through his work and I tend not to get overly emotional about things like this but even with all the time that has passed, it still hurts to think about and watch things with him in it or documentaries.

One thing that I’ve taken from this and from learning about who he was outside of the fame that he wasn’t necessarily comfortable with is that being a good and kind person costs nothing and it takes no effort at all to be better not only for yourself but for all the people around you; if I had a glass of anything at all I’d toast to his memory.

November 2018 marks the second anniversary of the passing of one of my virtual best friends, she’d probably give me some crap because she never wanted anyone to make a big deal or fuss about her but she was a one of several people that I stuck around the grid and also one of my biggest support systems. When I got my start I was a teenage avatar and she helped me with figuring out the ropes of what it meant to be one since my real teen years weren’t all that enjoyable.

She encouraged me to find a family to be a part of and even though I had reservations about it at first I took the leap and the two wonderful people that became my virtual parents are still today and I wouldn’t change that for all the King’s gold. She also encouraged me to enroll into school so that I could attend classes with her and I figured I didn’t have anything to lose; it isn’t until now that I realized it was something that was meant to happen and where I was supposed to be.

It is at the school where I met my wife and if you asked her she kinda knew that we would have wound up on this road even back then.

Fondly I look back on the exploring my best friend and I did and the crazy games of Greedy we played and talks about our favorite things like movies and books and even her taste in music which even though it was much different in some instances as mine it was always still a good time. Even today whenever I see anything about the Wizard of Oz it brings me back to an easier time.

Abby, thank you for the friendship and the belief that I was a better person than even I thought I could be…I miss you and I’m sure we’ll get to pick on one another again someday.

Usually I do not section off my blogs from the beginning to the information about what I’m wearing but I felt like there needed to be a break between the bit of emotion that took part in that section. The song I chose for this blog from the moment I heard it was meaningful and was even more so after I looked up what it was about…which is essentially losing someone close to you and how it kind of rocks your world in some form.

In the picture frame I chose one of my favorite pictures of Paul Walker as I didn’t really have very many good ones or even anything recent of Abby but I’m sure there will be a time when I come across something and do another blog to honor her.

The cap and hair I am wearing is the “Shelby Hat and Hair” from Modulus that recently dropped at the current round of Uber. I love this style of hat because of how vintage it is and I knew that it fit with the rest of my look. Word on the street that is patterned after a character from the show “Peaky Blinders” which I’ve never seen but I’ve got it on my list of “things to watch when I’ve watched everything before it”. I’m sure it’s good as it has Cillian Murphy in it (he played Scarecrow in The Dark Knight Trilogy).

With the different colors/fabrics that the cap can be changed with via the included HUD it allows the ability to coordinate with just about any outfit. Another bonus is a standalone version of the cap is also included in the package so it can be warn without the hair which I think is great.

Modulus Shelby Hat & Hair features:

100% alpha hair ‘next gen’ mesh
5 Colour HUDs options + integrated tinting HUDs
Texture HUD for hat
Hat only option
Or the fatpack with all 40 colours
Exclusively @ Uber until December 23rd

The suit I am wearing is an exclusive version of the “Gage Premium Tuxedo” by L&B Swear but is the “Pinstripe Edition” which has 5 suit colors with pinstripes (including one with a black lapel just like the original Gage tux offers). What’s even more awesome is that you can use your HUD from the original tux and have added colors for the waistcoat, shirt, tie, and pocket square for even more options to go with.

I know that it is considered to be a tuxedo but in my mind if you don’t use the black lapel version it’s more like a suit because of the regular tie (I feel tuxedo’s having bowties are what set them apart from being more than just a suit). Another thing I thought of about this is that the look also makes me look sort of like a gangster from the 40’s (or at least that is what my friend Lucky said at least).

L&B Swear Gage Pinstripe Edition Tuxedo features:

Original mesh
HUD allows changeable Jacket, waistcoat, shirt, tie, pocket square, pants and belt)
Option to disable belt is also included in HUD
Original Gage Tuxedo HUD can be used to change Waistcoat, shirt, tie, and pocket square)
Fitted Sizes for Belleza (Jake), Signature (Geralt, Gianni), SLink Physique mesh bodies and Classic fitmesh
Available now @ L&B Swear main location

Now feels as good a time as any to wrap up this blog entry as to me I feel like I covered everything that I wanted to and also the amount of emotional energy that it took to write the beginning is starting to set in and I don’t regret opening up as I don’t usually do that. I know that some appreciate reading more than just credits and I try to at least offer more than just a picture and where to find things as there is a bit of a void where that is concerned.

During this time of year it seems like I tend to do more raw feeling type stuff that has more emotion to it because blogging is not only just something fun (or just a hobby) it’s one of those things that helps me get things off my mind or things I’ve repressed because I tend to be more inward. It’s hard to ask people to understand it really and I don’t really consider myself lesser of a person because everyone has their things they deal with; I just find a way to use it to my advantage.

Soon enough I may even try doing some winter pics or possibly even ones that deal with that thing that happens towards the end of December (yeah that thing). Until the next time I post I’ll be off in search of the next conversation and to anyone who actually took the time to read this entire entry you have my sincerest gratitude.

LOCATION: Time Portal

POSE: vMotional Animations – My Sign ✦ Retired
POSE 2: WRONG – Rue @ Access Event ✦ NEW

HAIR: Modulus (Store / MP) – Shelby Hat & Hair @ Uber ✦ NEW
HEAD: CATWA – Daniel v3.2 ✦ Previously Blogged
FACE: Session Skins – Ian Tone 02 ✦ Previously Blogged
BODY: Signature – Gianni v4.6 ✦ Previously Blogged